No Pork, No Pork!

© 2012 - Fifi n Mumu - All Rights Reserved

SONG: New York, New York (Frank Sinatra)

SUBJECT: Proudly eating Kosher Foods

Start eating these foods
I am kosher today
I’m proud to be a part of it
No pork, no pork

These temples of Jews

Are not longing to stray

Right through the beefy heart of it

No pork, no pork

I want some take out in that city

That likes to eat

And find I’m king of the dill

No bacon for me

My matza ball blues

They are melting away

I’m gonna find a lovely bubeleh

With my no Pork

If I can eat steak rare

I’d look so debonair

It’s up to me

No pork, no pork

It’s no pork, no pork

I want some take out in that city

That likes to eat

And find I’m king of the dill

Topped with a bris

Head to my feet 

King of the dill

These are matza ball blues

They have all melted away

I am about to find a lovely bubeleh

Right here with my no pork

And you bet your tukhus baby

If we can make an heir

You know, we’re gonna make him firmly swear

Believe our rule

No pork, no pork!


Challah!
Fifi n Mumu

Damn, I Look Old

© 2012 - Fifi n Mumu - All Rights Reserved

SONG: King of the Road (Roger Miller)

SUBJECT: Anti Aging Regimen for Poor Lifestyle Choices

Wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox

Buys a coat made of a rare blue fox

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

Third needle near my brain

Crowns me as the queen of pain

Old, worn out, with tattoos

I don't drink that name brand booze

I smoked with hippies I had found

In short, they have all have moved uptown

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

I know every procedure by every name

Plastic surgeons, they’re not all the same

And dietitians in every town

And every cleansing tonic that helps me slim down

I fight wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox

Buys a coat made of a rare blue fox

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

Wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox.......



Cheers! 
Fifi n Mumu