Fifi n Mumu

Monday, January 7, 2013

No Pork, No Pork!

SONG: New York, New York (Frank Sinatra)

SUBJECT: Proudly eating Kosher Foods

Start eating these foods
I am kosher today
I’m proud to be a part of it
No pork, no pork

These temples of Jews

Are not longing to stray

Right through the beefy heart of it

No pork, no pork

I want some take out in that city

That likes to eat

And find I’m king of the dill

No bacon for me

My matza ball blues

They are melting away

I’m gonna find a lovely bubeleh

With my no Pork

If I can eat steak rare

I’d look so debonair

It’s up to me

No pork, no pork

It’s no pork, no pork

I want some take out in that city

That likes to eat

And find I’m king of the dill

Topped with a bris

Head to my feet

King of the dill

These are matza ball blues

They have all melted away

I am about to find a lovely bubeleh

Right here with my no pork

And you bet your tukhus baby

If we can make an heir

You know, we’re gonna make him firmly swear

Believe our rule

No pork, no pork!

Challah!
Fifi n Mumu

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Damn, I Look Old

SONG: King of the Road (Roger Miller)

SUBJECT: Anti Aging Regimen for Poor Lifestyle Choices

Wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox

Buys a coat made of a rare blue fox

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

Third needle near my brain

Crowns me as the queen of pain

Old, worn out, with tattoos

I don't drink that name brand booze

I smoked with hippies I had found

In short, they have all have moved uptown

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

I know every procedure by every name

Plastic surgeons, they’re not all the same

And dietitians in every town

And every cleansing tonic that helps me slim down

I fight wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox

Buys a coat made of a rare blue fox

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

Wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox.......

Cheers!
Fifi n Mumu

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Bimbo Perfection

SONG: Rainbow Connection (Kermit the Frog in The Muppet Movie)

SUBJECT: Reality Fame

Why are there so many shows about bimbos

and what will they now confide?

Bimbos decisions are only illusions

‘cuz bimbos have nothing to hide

So we’ve been shown and some choose to believe it

Maybe I'm wrong, wait and see

Someday I’ll see it, the bimbo’s perfection

The producers, the viewers and me.

Who said that every word should be heard

and recorded to make a reality star?

Somebody thought of that and we all believed it

Look what it’s done so far

What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing

and what do we think we might see?

Someday I’ll see it, the bimbo’s perfection

The producers, the viewers and me...

All of us under their spell. We know that it’s reality magic

Have you been half asleep, still hearing their voices?

I’ve heard them call me to fame

Is that a Bimbo that called the young sailors

The ditz might be one and the same

I’ve seen it too many times to ignore it

She’s someone that I’m supposed to be

Someday I’ll be it, the bimbo’s perfection

The starlet, the dreamer....in me.

Cheers to the New Year!

Fifi n Mumu

Thursday, December 20, 2012

SONG: White Christmas (Bing Crosby)

SUBJECT: Dieting because of overeating

I'm dreaming of a light breakfast
Not like the ones I've had before
When my waist size burgeoned
I called my surgeon
'Cuz dear, its nice to see my toes

I'm dreaming of a light breakfast
With every counted carb I bite
May your scale not give you a fright
And may all your breakfasts(es) be light

I'm dreaming of a light breakfast
With every counted carb I bite
May you turn down Turkish delight
And may all of your breakfasts(es)* be light.

*we are quite aware that breakfastes is not a word, but it is darn fun to sing it that way.

Cheers,
Fifi n Mumu

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Debt Collectors

SONG: Sleigh Ride

SUBJECT: Overspending

Just hear that cel phone jing-a-ling
It gives me a tingle or two
Come on it's debt collectors
And we'll work together with you

Inside my pride is shrinking
While I am thinking 'boo-hoo'
Come on it's debt collectors
And we'll work together with you

Let's pay the bill before us
And spend a dollar or two
Come on it's debt collectors
And we'll work together with you

Credit card, credit card, credit card, cel phone
The mortgage is blown
We're sliding in an avalanche of loans
Credit card, credit card, credit card, 10 grand
Just cut off my hand
We're gliding along on the promise of a paycheck
soon in hand

Our checks are nice and bouncy
Don't cash them 'til next week
We're sticking all together
If we end up on the street

Let's pay the bill before us
And spend a dollar or two
Come on it's debt collectors
And we'll work together with you

There's a Christmas party at the home of mayor Dan
It's the perfect time to ask him if he'll lend a hand
We will be singing the songs we love to sing
     We won't forget to stop
In his kitchen as we watch the champagne pop
Pop, pop, pop

There's a happy feeling we were thinking we could buy
As we spent our money quickly 'til it all ran dry
We always thought we'd be employed,
   the future seemed so bright
These wonderful things are the things that we pawn
   into the night

Just hear that cel phone jing-a-ling
It gives me a tingle or two
Come on it's debt collectors
And we'll work together with you

Let's pay the bill before us
And spend a dollar or two
Come on it's debt collectors
And we'll work together with you

--------------------------------------------------------

Happy Holidays Folks!
(Don't break the bank)
Fifi n Mumu

Single Hell

SONG: Jingle Bells

SUBJECT: Being Single at Christmas

Dashing through the store

It's all on sale - hooray!

Buying for myself

On credit, layaway

Sales on diamond rings

Make other girls feel bright

How sad it is to realize

I'm alone again tonight

Single hell

Single holidays

Oh, what dread-it's back to bed

Alone on Christmas day

Single hell

Single holidays

Oh, what dread-it's back to bed

Alone on Christmas day

I dreamt a day ago

That I'd become a bride

So I had Mr. Right

All snuggled at my side

He seemed a bit too lean

Too lanky for a mate

He got into a Ponzi scheme

Misfortune sealed my fate

Single hell

Single holidays

Oh, what dread-it's back to bed

Alone on Christmas day

Single hell

Single holidays

Oh, what dread-it's back to bed

Alone on Christmas day

And now my future's bright

My friends say I'm still young

Forgo a date tonight

And sing a drinking song

Forget that handsome guy

Too hipster, vain indeed

Just hook up with your ex boyfriend

and poof!.....you will be freed

Single hell

Single holidays

Oh, what dread-it's back to bed

Alone on Christmas day-hey!

Single hell

Single holidays

Oh, what dread -it's back to bed

Alone

Christmas

Day!

Cheers!
Fifi and Mumu

Sunday, December 16, 2012

We are so bummed

It's so hard to be cheery when surrounded by news of death.

We send out some (puppy) love to all of those that have lost a loved one this holiday season. We too, remember our own friends that left us in December.

We are going to go curl up in our dog beds and wish peaceful dreams to all.

Fifi n Mumu

Lyrical Nonsense

We will be bringing you a new song parody regularly. If you like one of them, please feel free to sing it at your local pub to confused regulars on karaoke night. Feel free to repost-just give us credit and a link back to our blog. Our parodies are protected under a creative commons license. You may share and remix, but you may not use our work for commercial purposes. If you love being laughed at (with), then send us a video of your rendition. Just know that if we love it, we may post it for all to see.