I Wanna Bark!

© 2013 - Fifi n Mumu

SONG: I Wanna Rock  (Twisted Sister)

SUBJECT: I am a dog, therefore I bark (except when my human slips this blasted bark collar onto me )

I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark) 
I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark)

Turn it down you say  
Well, all I got to say to you is time and time again I say 
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no"  

Tell me not to play
Well, all I got to say to you when you tell me not to play  
I say, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no"  

So, if you ask me why I like the way I play it  
There's only one thing I can say to you

I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark) 
I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark)

There's a feelin' that I get from nothin' else 
And there ain't nothin' in the world 
That makes me go, go, go, go, go, go, go  

Turn the power up
I've waited for so long so I could hear my favorite song  
So let's go, go, go, go, go, go, go 

When it's like this I feel the music shootin' through me 
There's nothin' else that I would rather do 

I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark) 
I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark)
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark 
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark 
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) I wanna bark   

I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark) 
I wanna bark (Bark) I wanna bark (Bark)
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark 
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark 
I wanna bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) Bark (Bark) I wanna bark

© 2013 - Fifi n Mumu

Waiving Underwear

© 2013-Fifi n Mumu-All Rights Reserved

SONG: Livin' on a Prayer (Bon Jovi)

SUBJECT: Rock n Roll dreams can change everything (especially with the Ladies, wink wink)



"Waivin’ Underwear"

Once upon a time 
Not so long ago 

Johnny used to scream for punk rock 
He sings into the mic
He dreams of a break ...it's tough, so tough 
Gino plays the guitar all day 
Working on his plan, he strings up to play  
For love - for love 

He says we've got to hold on for our big shot 
iTunes will make us famous 
when our music gets bought 
We've got it brother and that's our plot 
For love - we'll give it a shot !

Whooah, when babes stand there 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear 
Then we’ll know, we’ve made it - I swear 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear 

Johnny's got his nose ring in hock 
Now he's drinking gin-and screams 
‘I wanna rock’ - so tough, it's tough 
Gino dreams of stunning, hot babes
When he’s alone in the night 
Johnny whispers brother it’s okay, someday 

We've got to hold on for our big shot 
iTunes will make us famous 
when our music gets bought 
We've got it brother and that's our plot 
For love - we'll give it a shot !


Whooah, when babes stand there 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear 
Then we’ll know, we’ve made it - I swear 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear 
Waivin' underwear

We've got to rock on ready or not 
You live in the lights when it's girls that you want!


Whooah, when babes stand there 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear 
Then we’ll know, we’ve made it - I swear 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear 

Whooah, when babes stand there 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear 
Then we’ll know, we’ve made it - I swear 
Ooh oh, Waivin’ underwear

Whooah, when babes stand there
Ooh oh, Waivin' underwear.......................


Ambition can take really you places. Enjoy the ride.

Cheers!
Fifi n Mumu

Summer Crimes

© 2013 - Fifi n Mumu - All Rights Reserved

SONG: Summer Nights, from Grease

SUBJECT: The correlation between rising temperatures and street crimes, especially muggings.

[Danny]

Summer mugging, needed some cash

[Sandy]

Summer mugging, happened so fast

[Danny]

I saw a girl alone on the street

[Sandy]

I saw a boy, younger than me

[Both]

Summer days when one misbehaves, it's the rise in Summer crime

[Everyone]

Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh

[Thunderbirds]

Tell me more, tell me more

[Doody]

Did you run very far? 

[Pink Ladies]

Tell me more, tell me more

[Marty]

Like, it seems so bizarre?

[Everyone]

Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

[Danny]

She walked by me, on her cel phone

[Sandy]

He flew by me, my balance was thrown

[Danny]

I grabbed her purse, she hit the ground

[Sandy]

He escaped, with no one around

[Both]

Summer sun, something's begun, it's the rise in Summer crime

[Everyone]

Uh well-a well-a well-a huh

[Pink Ladies]

Tell me more, tell me more

[Frenchy]

Was it daytime or night?

[Thunderbirds]

Tell me more, tell me more

[Kenickie]

Did she put up a fight?

[Everyone]

Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh

[Danny]

Took out her wallet, time to get paid

[Sandy]

He's got my i.d., now I'm afraid

[Danny]

I pawned it all, down at the dock

[Sandy]

I need a drink, I'm still in shock

[Both]

Sudden scream, don't mean a thing. it's the rise in Summer crime

[Everyone]

Uh well-a well-a well-a huh

[Thunderbirds]

Tell me more, tell me more

[Putzie]

But you don't gotta brag

[Pink Ladies]

Tell me more, tell me more

[Rizzo]

Was it your Louis bag?

[Everyone]

shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH

[Sandy]

The cop was friendly, handsome and tanned

[Danny]

Now I feel lucky, dollars in hand

[Sandy]

The thief was young, maybe eighteen

[Danny]

It was exciting, you know what I mean?

[Everyone]

Woah!

[Both]

Summer heat, thugs on the streets, it's the rise in Summer crime

[Everyone]

woo, woo, woo

[Pink Ladies]

Tell me more, tell me more

[ Jan]

How much dough did you lose?

[Thunderbirds]

Tell me more, tell me more

[Sonny]

Was she in high heeled shoes?

[Sandy]

I made a report - that's where it ends

[Danny]

Could she see me, that all depends

[Sandy]

They say I'm lucky, he had no gun

[Danny]

Wonder if I'm now on the run?

[Both]

Stolen dreams, robbers and schemes

it's THE rise in SUMMER CRIME....

[Everyone]

Tell me more, tell me more!

As the temperatures warm up and we all spend more time outdoors, remember to pay attention to your surroundings, and if possible, don't walk alone. Pups love to go on walks. If you don't have some, you can borrow someone else's. If you are alone, don't be distracted by your cel phone, that can make you an easy target. Stay safe.


Cheers!
Fifi n Mumu

Restored Hard Drive

© 2013 - Fifi n Mumu - All Rights Reserved

SONG: I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)

SUBJECT: Cyber Security and the lone IT guy

At first I was afraid, I was petrified

Kept seeing every screen freeze up, no matter what I tried
But when I dumped some giga bytes, scanning data that was wrong
I grew strong, It's here in IT I belong

And so don't hack in cyber space
I just walked in to find you here with fiber optic interface
I should have checked that stupid log
I should have seen you stroke my key
If I'd have known for just one second, you would hack security

Don't download! Close that back door, just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one, who tried to boast to me online? 
When your link had crumbled
Did you think my data could be mined?

Oh not with my, restored hard drive 
Oh, as long as I authenticate, your bot I will deprive
I want all my bytes to live, I've got all my time to give 
And I'll survive, with my new drive , hey, hey

It took all the code I had not to fall apart 
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces when I hit restart 
And I spent, oh, so many nights building firewalls by myself 
I beam with pride because your access is denied

And you hate me, I know it’s true 
I'm the one that got you fired punk, I’m not afraid of you
And so you felt like dropping in, do you expect to make a plea?
Because I'm backing up my database for some integrity

Go on now, go, close that back door, just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one, who tried to boast to me online? 
When your link had crumbled
Did you think my data could be mined?

Oh not with my, restored hard drive 
Oh, as long as I authenticate, your bot I will deprive
I want all my bytes to live, I've got all my time to give
And I'll survive, I will survive, oh

Go on now, go, walk out the door, just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one, who tried to sneak back on WiFi
Did you think I'd fumble? Where’s your DoS now tough guy?

Oh not with my, restored hard drive 
Oh, as long as I authenticate, your bot I will deprive
I want all my bytes to live, I've got all my time to give 
And I'll survive, with my new drive , I will survive

"Cybercrime remains one of the greatest threats we face and it is not going away any time soon," said Preet Bharara, the U.S. attorney in Manhattan. "It threatens our financial security and our national security."

........We are off to do our security update, folks.
Cheers!
Fifi n Mumu

Special thanks goes out to Brian of Dadding Full Time for reviewing this one for IT lingo errors, since we are sometimes techtarded. 

No Pork, No Pork!

© 2012 - Fifi n Mumu - All Rights Reserved

SONG: New York, New York (Frank Sinatra)

SUBJECT: Proudly eating Kosher Foods

Start eating these foods
I am kosher today
I’m proud to be a part of it
No pork, no pork

These temples of Jews

Are not longing to stray

Right through the beefy heart of it

No pork, no pork

I want some take out in that city

That likes to eat

And find I’m king of the dill

No bacon for me

My matza ball blues

They are melting away

I’m gonna find a lovely bubeleh

With my no Pork

If I can eat steak rare

I’d look so debonair

It’s up to me

No pork, no pork

It’s no pork, no pork

I want some take out in that city

That likes to eat

And find I’m king of the dill

Topped with a bris

Head to my feet 

King of the dill

These are matza ball blues

They have all melted away

I am about to find a lovely bubeleh

Right here with my no pork

And you bet your tukhus baby

If we can make an heir

You know, we’re gonna make him firmly swear

Believe our rule

No pork, no pork!


Challah!
Fifi n Mumu

Damn, I Look Old

© 2012 - Fifi n Mumu - All Rights Reserved

SONG: King of the Road (Roger Miller)

SUBJECT: Anti Aging Regimen for Poor Lifestyle Choices

Wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox

Buys a coat made of a rare blue fox

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

Third needle near my brain

Crowns me as the queen of pain

Old, worn out, with tattoos

I don't drink that name brand booze

I smoked with hippies I had found

In short, they have all have moved uptown

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

I know every procedure by every name

Plastic surgeons, they’re not all the same

And dietitians in every town

And every cleansing tonic that helps me slim down

I fight wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox

Buys a coat made of a rare blue fox

I have paid for schemes from my teens

Damn, I look old

Wrinkles that make a dent

Skin just like a canvas tent

No lies, I’ve got regrets

I smoked all those cigarettes

Ah but, two hours of pushed botox.......



Cheers! 
Fifi n Mumu

Bimbo Perfection

copyright 2012 - Fifi n Mumu - all rights reserved

SONG: Rainbow Connection (Kermit the Frog in The Muppet Movie)

SUBJECT: Reality Fame

Why are there so many shows about bimbos

and what will they now confide?

Bimbos decisions are only illusions

‘cuz bimbos have nothing to hide

So we’ve been shown and some choose to believe it

Maybe I'm wrong, wait and see

Someday I’ll see it, the bimbo’s perfection

The producers, the viewers and me. 

Who said that every word should be heard

and recorded to make a reality star?

Somebody thought of that and we all believed it

Look what it’s done so far

What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing

and what do we think we might see?

Someday I’ll see it, the bimbo’s perfection

The producers, the viewers and me...

All of us under their spell. We know that it’s reality magic

Have you been half asleep, still hearing their voices?

I’ve heard them call me to fame

Is that a Bimbo that called the young sailors

The ditz might be one and the same 

I’ve seen it too many times to ignore it

She’s someone that I’m supposed to be

Someday I’ll be it, the bimbo’s perfection

The starlet, the dreamer....in me.

Cheers to the New Year!

Fifi n Mumu